Your Funny Cancer Horoscope for Today

Your "rustic charms" are not an excuse for being smelly and dirty. A picture frame will feature highly in your day today and will probably make you feel like you'd never gotten out of bed. Indeed, you'll probably end up going back to bed as soon as today's mishaps have had done with you. When opening the door for a stranger, take care to notice any loose change that they may drop so that you can slam the door in their face, grab the money, and then run for dear life.