Your fun Capricorn Zodiac Horoscope for Today

star sign: Capricorn

Capricorn

22 December - 19 January

You may feel like starving yourself today in order to lose some weight. Be wary of all new friends today as they may turn out to be Russian spies, or possibly wannabe astronomers. Crying over spilt milk may seem like a folly, but perhaps not if you've spilt piping hot milk over your naked body.


Your funny horoscopes are probably the easiest to write. And I'm not aiming that comment at any old Capricornian (if that IS their real name) but to you yourself. Thanks for being such a wonderful well-rounded being.