Your Funny Capricorn Horoscope for Today

star sign: Capricorn

Star sign: Capricorn

Star date: 22 December - 19 January

This week, Microsoft Word may define your grammar as "poorly constructed" and full of "run on sentences". You're doing really well, keep it up! The future holds much joy and happiness for someone close to you. But not you. Oh no, you're screwed.

yesterday's horoscope Was yesterday's horoscope correct for you?

Date: 4th February 2012
The pain in your foot will lessen today as the pain in your hand grows. You will start to feel animosity towards forms of public transport and its workers, simultaneously regretting having your foot injured in a closing door and punching the driver. Avoid serious questions wherever possible today and TIE YOUR SHOES DAMMIT! It can be scary, sad and lonely. Are you sure you want to go ahead with your plans?