Your Funny Scorpio Horoscope for Today

star sign: Scorpio

Scorpio

24 October - 21 November

Screaming loudly only serves to wake the neighbours. They'll only investigate once they're sure you're dead and the murderer has left the crime scene. The next word you hear may cause you to rush into a blind rage. Please think before acting too rashly with a potato masher.


Scorpions - poisonous creatures in real life but anyone who isn't Scorpio doesn't let that cloud their judgement. General Scorpio is a perfectly wonder star-sign and at least 8% of all our horoscopes readers think that their Scorpio horoscope was just marvellous. We hope you found it fun.