Your Funny Taurus Horoscope for Today

star sign: Taurus

Star sign: Taurus

Star date: 20 April - 20 May

Write lots of letters today and you'll appreciate the finer art of stamp licking. Complete the sentence: "My day will be really shitty today because my boss will find out that I surf the internet for ________ hours daily."

yesterday's horoscope Was yesterday's horoscope correct for you?

Date: 23rd May 2013
Butter your bread on both sides so that if the bread falls, you'll be screwed no matter what. It may be easier to make a toasted sandwich. You will be plagued by happy people, but don't be swayed by them, stay miserable. When the fish wander home cooking gently, who'll be there to open the froth?