Your Funny Romantic Capricorn Horoscope for Today

Alice in wonderland, now there was a lady who wasn't big on being small. And I'm not an astrologer who is keen on avoiding making daft puns. However, you're going to meet the king of puns over the next few days and every romantic tingle you've ever felt will be made to be embarrassed at how pathetic they were in comparison. The post-office is going to be lucky for you today as a mystery package arrives for you that for once is neither ticking, covered in mysterious powder, or have red-stamped URGENT all over it.