When Boy George walked into a Saville Row outfitters requesting yet another shocking lime-green tuxedo, it was with some shock that Albert Forestalker, 52, when measuring Mr George, found that he was rather lacking in the manhood department. Of course, we use the phrase 'manhood department' with a due sense of trepidation, being that Debenhams have recently renamed their menswear department to that same phrase.

However, Mr Forestalker who has worked in men's outfitters "Chipper and Dandy" for 30 years, said the matter was no joke:

"We take our business very seriously and there is a great sense of pride amongst the staff who recognise that the shop is a tribute to our nation's heritage. If a man walks into our shop and is found not to be a man, this is of consequence!"

When asked exactly how Mr Forestalker had his susicions raised regarding Mr George, he told us: "Inner leg. It's always the inner leg that catches them out. Usually I end up 'accidentally' touching a testis with my watch but when I couldn't 'accidentally' achieve it I had to resort to a more hands-on approach. Yet there was nothing there.

"Mr George, it appeared, did not have the genitalia required to wear our lime-green tuxedo with purple lining. It was all the more galling for the fact that we'd purposefully sown in a little 'balls pocket' inside the trousers, where gentlemen can store their wotsits without fear of them 'showing' through the material. We'd done it as a kind gesture!"

Although Mr Forestalker walked off in disgust at our suggestion that a 'balls pocket' was a pretty disturbing idea, we wonder whether it's possible that "Boy" George is more than just a nickname and would more easily explain away our conundrum regarding his true sex. This is Mike Ingrish reporting for Laughsend.net (This story was transcribed by Michael Jarrowther from an audio submission)

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