In a move presumably fuelled by the surprising success of the Spy Kids films, Matthew Culkin, brother of whacked out hippy, McCauley, is set to become the new James Bond. Bond has been without an actor for the last year as Pierce Brosnan, star of 3 Bond films, was denied opportunity to reprise the role in an upcoming film.

Film bosses announced their decision at a recent board meeting, prefering to let Matthew Culkin do the talking. We talked to one member of the film board, Jethro Macascal:

"It was awesome, really. Matthew came in in tuxedo and started waving around some kind of miniaturised Nerf gun. Of course, we all panicked and there arose such a strong smell of urine. However, once the boy started messing with his lapels and raising one eyebrow, we knew what the deal was. This was our new Bond."

Happy with the decision?

"Oh yes. I mean. Well, we all agreed that Spy Kids did ever so well, so we're looking to steamroll that good-will into the James Bond franchise."

The James Bond character has always had big shoes to fill. Big shoes with hollow pill-hiding toecaps and a bottle opener in the back.

Expect to see the new Bond film, tentatively titled "Spies are People Too", within the year.

In other Bond related news, film executives working on the franchise have subtley accused previous star, Pierce Brosnan, of stealing many of Q's gadgets:

"We're not saying he robbed us blind. But let's be honest, the way he's disappeared from television and the fact that he's not appearing in any other films, leads us to believe he's stolen our invisibility cloak contraption. He's disappeared from the face of the earth, and we think that's suspicious."

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